Potty Talk

Today I write to all my lovely constituants about a most grievous issue going on in our school as I write. That issue is the bathroom. Nobody wants to discuss behind the door with the little man or woman icon, but too much time has gone by and I've decided to step up to the plate and do something! We have all lived in squalor and disrepair no more! Not under my rule, that is. If I am elcected as your senator, I will ensure the following-

1. In the men's room, some urinals will go up! Now, we men who are taller than 5'3 can enjoy them with comfort, ease, and no worry that one will be revealing themselves.

2. Those worthless, piece of rubbish hand dryers will be banished from the world of Hinsdale Central bathrooms! No longer shall they waste energy and leave our hands as wet as they were when we washed them! Instead, they shall be replaced with something that actually works.

3. Cleanliness! Even if I have to go there myself, and scrub those floors with a toothbrush, I will promise you all a clean bathroom, one that you won't have to fear entering.

My constituants, if you vote for me, brighter cleaner days will come. Vote for cleanliness, vote for the good of the world, vote for Max!